Gluttony

Common things are commonly misused. Be it the common man, common sense or commonwealth, they're all being messed with. Don't worry, this isn't another rant at India's expectedly abysmal preparation for one of the biggest events to ever happen to the country; instead, this is directed towards all those elitist middle class tweens with top-drawer brains who got into good B schools. I dedicate this rant to all my fellow IIMites who dared to dream, and now dare to dream beyond.

Look up and aim high. I totally get the ambitious nature, and I applaud your commitment. Maybe you were born with a gifted mind, or maybe you were gifted with a work ethic that would make Sasha Grey and Grandmaster Yoda wet their pants; either way, you had it in you, you went to school, and as your CV now undoubtedly reads, you consistently performed in the top 3 of your class till high school. Then, when you hit the nice rosy teen years, you were told, 'beta abhi padh lo, baad mein aish karne ka khoob mauka milega.' Ignorant and committed to competing, you study. You study really hard for engineering entrance exams. You don't hit on the opposite sex, you don't know what a party is or how to dance, heck, you stalk people online in order to get a chance to hopefully someday communicate with them in person. You study, and you study well. You make it to an IIT, an NIT, JU, VJTI, or whatever other ridiculous acronym you dreamt of. The problem, however, is that you don't really know why. The even bigger problem is that you don't really know there is a problem in the first place.

Now, you got into engineering. Your parents and your cousins are proud, peers are either proud or jealous, and you think you made it. But then you get to your new home. And you realize how meaninglessly small a fish you are in the sea. You are told, not for the first time, 'beta abhi padh lo, achhi job laga lo, phir zindagi set ho jaayegi.' They say ignorance is bliss, but I have my reservations. You put in a reasonable amount of effort interspersed with free-riding moments of uselessness, work your way through college, and then you suddenly decide, 'Hey, the money's in finance, let's do that.' So, you give your MBA entrances, you take up jobs at banks, not even realizing for one moment how you went from 'just wanting to get good grades in school' to 'becoming a genius of a techie' to 'deciding money is the ultimate satisfier' to 'I wanna be a banker'.

Then, you make it into the big time. You make it to an IIM. Once again, you are the big apple of every one's eyes, you are the blossoming cherry, you are the star shining all the way through from the end of the universe. You get there, and there's 300 more of you. You suddenly remember Mr. Darwin's celebrated words. You also discern, gradually, that you could get a lot more money out of this place than you previously understood.

Also, you are a 23 year old virgin now, and over the years you have understood the need for a partner; you have also understood that your panache, or lack thereof, means that the only way to get laid is to get mighty rich and perhaps eventually apply to some matrimony bureau.

The goal is MONEY. Not money when you are forty. Money now. What do you want to do with that money? Invest it, make more money. And then? Make some more. Ka ching.

So go, give it your best shot. Take up that I-Bank job. Make somebody poor, make somebody rich, but above all, take care of yourself.

25 years into this tunnel being led by malnourished carrots creating illusions of light fast approaching, you continue to dangle along behind the dangling vegetable. I am not trying to say it is wrong to aspire to be rich, I am just imploring you to aspire long term.

The Indian dream fundamentally is to stay in a perpetual haze, and to keep dreaming. The vertical tunnel keeps sucking you in like gravity, and you keep sucking up to it's projected glory. Wake up. As the adage goes, even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat. The rat that wants to eat, eat and eat, without knowing what it wants to eat for. The rat that wants to bite a lot more than it needs to chew. The glutton.

P.S.: To all those who thought up nice juicy wise ass RG comments, piss off and Rest In Peace.